Now that we’ve identified the point of view in our example from The Graveyard Book, let’s see how Gaiman uses it to describe the scene.
First, Bod is relaxed in this place, watching what’s happening around him. The description that follows is a positive one because we see it from Bod’s perspective. Notice the words marked in yellow below: explored, grew, dangling, droning, lay, and wandering. These are all active verbs. Gaiman doesn’t tell the reader what it looks like—things are happening, and the reader is engaged by visualizing the action in the scene.
Next, let’s look at these words marked in green below: sunny, deep, lazy, spring, and bronze-colored. These are adjectives (rather than adverbs) that help to paint or fill in some of the details of that scene.
And finally, let’s look at the words marked in blue below. We have the nouns here, and they provide us with at least two sensory details—visually we can imagine the wildflowers, the bees, the sunlight, the beetle, and the stone. We have a sound included here as well, the buzz of the bees. You could also infer from the two uses of sun a certain warmth. In one sentence, we see some effective techniques for engaging the reader in the setting—sensory details described using active verbs and adjectives.
To show characters interacting with a setting, authors often use:
Now let’s look at another example passage. Watch the video below to see a setting description from Paper Towns by John Green. Try to identify the voice and tense of the point of view and look for the active verbs and adjectives Green uses to describe sensory details.
Let’s start by identifying the point of view. Read the passage below and try to identify the voice (first or third person) and the tense (present or past). Scroll over the box to check your answers.
We jogged across I-Drive and then started bushwhacking through a thicket of tall shrubs and oak trees. I started to worry about poison ivy, but ninjas don’t worry about poison ivy, so I led the trail, my arms in front of me, pushing aside briars and brush as we walked toward the moat. …
We jogged across I-Drive and then started bushwhacking through a thicket of tall shrubs and oak trees. I started to worry about poison ivy, but ninjas don’t worry about poison ivy, so I led the trail, my arms in front of me, pushing aside briars and brush as we walked toward the moat. …
The use of we and I shows this paragraph is in first person. Jogged, started, led, and walked show the use of past tense.
Quentin Jacobsen is the main character in Paper Towns. And how does Quentin feel in this situation? We might infer that he felt anxious or nervous here but wished that he didn’t feel that way.
Let’s move on to the description. Try to identify the actions, the adjectives, and the sensory details in the passage next. Scroll down and click through the slides to see some of the possible examples.
We jogged across I-Drive and then started bushwhacking through a thicket of tall shrubs and oak trees. I started to worry about poison ivy, but ninjas don’t worry about poison ivy, so I led the trail, my arms in front of me, pushing aside briars and brush as we walked toward the moat. We made it across and then knelt down in the knee-high grass beside the parkway….
And I didn’t think about alligators or the disgusting layer of brackish algae. I just got a running start and jumped as far as I could. I landed in waist-deep water and then high-stepped across. The water smelled rank and felt slimy on my skin, but at least I wasn’t wet above my waist. …
We ran through a small thicket of trees, hugging tight against these huge opaque tanks that might have stored animals, and then we came to an asphalt path and I could see the big amphitheater where Shamu splashed me when I was a kid. The little speakers lining the walkway were playing soft Muzak.
We have many visual descriptions here. I-Drive, the trees and shrubs, the moat, more trees, the path, and inside Sea World, the tanks and amphitheater. Notice that Green isn’t telling us there was a path…Quentin is acting in this place. He’s jogging and jumping and smelling and feeling. He’s interacting with the setting. In this short section, we also get that the water smelled rank and that it felt slimy on his skin. He’s wet below his waist. We also get the sound of Muzak playing on the speakers. Green uses four out of five senses in this short section to describe the setting.
Notice also the connection between the feeling of anxiety Quentin had in the opening line—he’s nervous, but he wants to be brave. He doesn’t want to think about alligators. We’re keeping with Quentin’s point of view and his specific experience.
Paper Towns by John Green may be available for free through your local library. You can purchase it from an independent book store by clicking here.